Wednesday, April 21, 2004

Kill Ben, Vol. I and II

"Ben, you make the decision on what font to engrave on Bubby's knife. I don't really like the Roman, though," Monica says. Ben does exactly what he is told and calls Monica. "Oh, thy beautiful princess, I have made the grandest decision to go with the Clarendon font," Ben says with grace and confidence. "What!!" Monica exclaims, "I would rather you have gone with the Roman font... I am going to call them and try to change it." Ben, in a mildly frustrated state says, "Fine, princess, but don't ever ask me to make a decision again and then tell me it was wrong."
(5 days later) "Ben, I am starving unto the point of death. Please, my knight in shining armor, bring thee some donuts to the office." Ben turns off the Regis and Kelly show and says, "I'll save thee! What kind of scrumptious pastries dost thou demand, and how many shall thou request?" "Oh, whatever you think, and stop speaking King James," Monica states. Once again, Ben does exactly what was told him, and brings 6 assorted donuts to the office with his head held high. Monica counts the donuts and counts the associates in her office and reprimands Ben, "Why did you only get six donuts? Well, I guess somebody in the office doesn't get one. I thought you were going to get more!" Ben instantly bows his head in shame and disgust. "Baby, don't ever tell me to make a decision and then tell me I did something wrong. We went over this last time [five days ago]. I quit." And crying like a little girl who found out her Barbie's hair won't grow back, Ben runs out of the office.

Lesson to learn from Ben and Monica's blog today: Making decisions can be tough sometimes. Even if you are told to make a decision by your wife, call her 3 times before you actually make it. Sometimes "make a decision" means make a preliminary statement of your intended course of action, but leave it completely open for your wife to modify it. However, most of the time, "make a decision" really means "make a decision" because your wife feels secure and loved when you decide what to do. From where you eat, to what shirt you think she should wear, there is the weird respect your wife gives you when you decide... even if she decides to change your decision.

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