Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Lessons from a New Story

On November 10th of last year, I wrote about my new story. I’d like to give you some updates:

I refer to myself less as “my character” in favor of “myself.”

I’ve learned that there are natural highs and lows in life, and the lows tend to last shorter when I see them as lows and not as a failure to stay high.

Life has become more about wants than needs. I want my marriage, I want to be healthy, I want to watch ice dancing…

I need my marriage less, and want it more. It is easier to put my shoes in my closet when I want my marriage.

Less expectation out of life has led to more fulfillment in life. I completely did not see this one coming! It’s like when I don’t need or expect things to happen, spontaneity and change become possible. Plus, when we don’t expect things to happen, things outside of our expectations can finally happen—miracles, anyone? I have experienced miracles.

Many of my views and beliefs have been challenged, including God. Because of these challenges, I’m developing a much richer view of life, faith, and God.

I see choice where I used to see helplessness. I wasn’t quite ready for all the power, and I am learning to harness a little more of it each day.

Life is way too precious to waste it blaming others. What shapes each of us is much greater than us—our family histories, our varied experiences, how we were cared for when we were babies, etc. This thought destroyed a barrier between me and my parents.

If you are too close to the project, you are the project. Things unfold only when I stop trying to keep them folded up, especially emotional things.

Perception and awareness are the greatest tools I possess. Most of the changes I experience are not because of external changes, I just started looking at things in a different way. Waiting for things to change without making changes myself is my definition of entitlement. I’ve been dis-entitled!

I’ve been holding back love from the world by not loving myself. Loving myself happens to be one of the greatest things I can do for the world.



  1. Well said.

    I think I really needed to hear what you said about expectations - I think maybe my expectations are getting in the way of some miracles right now.

  2. Really appreciate you sharing these, Ben. I'm thinking I should print them out and put them someplace I can see them each day.

    Something terrible has happened...Facebook isn't importing your blog posts it seems...so I was just thinking you and Monica weren't posting. But it seems you have been! I had a good time catching up.