This weekend we were at Starbucks & we uncharacteristically ordered two separate drinks (usually we split a Grande No Water Chai Tea Latte). Ben's Carmel Apple Spice was lukewarm at best - he described it as tasting like warm tap water which I agreed with after tasting it. I wish I could take back the words that instinctively came out of my mouth after that ..."Do you want me to ask them to fix it for you?" Ben justifiably asked me if I would like his manhood with that.
I justified this to myself by saying that I just wanted him to be "happy" & feel "loved" because I (his awesome wife) would stick up for him. What I was really saying was that I did not trust that Ben could take care of himself & be responsible for doing whatever he wanted in that situation. Sometimes my "helping" can be completely detrimental to the foundation of trust in our relationship.
I apologized, Ben got his drink fixed & all was well. The thing is, though, that even if Ben would have decided NOT to get his drink fixed, I needed to be ok with that. Hopefully next time my actions & reactivity can mirror how I truly feel about Ben & I can simply say, "That stinks, what are you going to do about that?"
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