As I sit here waiting for clients to show, I decided to be a little altruistic and help out all the counselors out there who do not get paid unless clients show up for their appointments. I am doing this in the form of a plea, although I am certain anyone who reads our blog does not stand up their therapist. Here’s my plea: Go to your counseling appointments if you schedule them!
You can always make the claim that your unconscious kept you from going and made you forget, but I hold this as a very rare occurrence. You may have decided your therapist is an idiot and/or is not helping, so you are not going—which is true in some cases, but still let him know. Of course, if you talk to a therapist about why you do not want to see her anymore, you risk her making it about you, which can be really annoying, especially if it does have a little to do with you. You also risk being referred to somebody who can help you, but then that might mean you’re not helpless after all. Other times, you are just stuck and frustrated, and don’t feel like going.
Here is my second plea: Don’t lie to your therapist. Not telling a therapist why you are not going to go to sessions anymore does not help him become a better therapist. Don’t say, “you did a great job, and I am better now,” if you, as the client, do not feel satisfied. Our egos don’t need to be inflated any more. We are trained to hear criticism, good and bad, and it really does help us get better at our jobs. Also, if you do not feel like you need help anymore, let your therapist know, and don’t keep going for their benefit. Sounds funny, but it happens.
Finally, therapy can help, especially for those things you are really stuck on. I’ve seen it make the difference, sometimes in just one or two sessions. I believe our tendency in therapy is to avoid what we really need to talk about, because it is really hard to be vulnerable with a stranger. Defense systems spring into action in therapy, especially when confronted with something that may touch on something about you that you don’t like.
Well, another no show/no pay. I hope this is another case of miracle counseling where just the fact that they decided to go to counseling made the difference. By the way, this blog entry is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to replace the advice of an expert in the mental health field. The thoughts above are not clinically researched and are based on personal observations.
Ben and Monica are superheroes living in Memphis. They have the most adorable puppy on earth and live in a house with a red door. Together they are unstoppable, and apart they are still pretty awesome.