Saturday, July 10, 2010

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

This past week has been crazy town at the Thompson household to say the least! We were able to spend time with lots of friends over the holiday weekend and even caught some fireworks that weren't being illegally shot off on our street. Contrary to the smiles you see above, on Wednesday WWIII broke out in our home and it was NOT a pretty site my friends...

I know that some couples argue a lot and some couples rarely ever argue and I don't think one is better than the other (depending on your definition of arguing). We happen to be one of those couples that have lots of discussions about things and situations that we disagree on, but we only have knock-down, drag-out fights every once in a blue moon.

The best part was that Ben's parents were coming into town on Thursday for a few days. I'm 99% sure that Ben somehow planned the timing of this fight because it got him out of virtually ALL housework in preparation for their visit. We were speaking to each other when necessary and giving pity hugs goodbye (you know, just in case one of us died), but otherwise you could have cut the tension between us with a knife!

Amazingly, several things happened that made me completely flip-flop the stance I was digging my heals into the sand on and we were able to kiss and make up (not because I was in any way wrong of course). Most of our super-size fights all stem from the same basic issue: one of us is trying to force the other one to change in some way.

So what do you guys think about arguing in marriage? Is it healthy or should people that love each other never argue? How do you balance focusing on yourself and your stuff while also living with your spouse and their stuff? Stay tuned for a new book coming out on 2.1.11 called ScreamFree Marriage by Hal Runkel for a very different and insightful approach to marriage.

1 comment:

  1. For us, arguing is like an old pair of jeans - comfortable and easy. Most of our arguments follow a pretty standard script and we've gotten to the point now where we don't get too fired up about most of the issues. I think the arguing is great for our marriage because it gets us to communicate about the issues that are important to us.