There are few people in this world I am truly jealous of and admire beyond words: People who live their lives without getting stuck on the details of the world. People who live as though life is a journey and find great joy in every adventure. I have always been jealous of Adam Langford.
Tuesday afternoon, January 16, 2007, in Uganda, Adam died in an automobile wreck. I had no idea Langford (as I usually refer to him) was even in Uganda, but he was, and he was on a mission team with his brother's family and several other families. It made sense, because sharing God's love came easy for Langford, you just had to be in his presence and you felt it. Langford was a light in the darkness everywhere his adventures took him. I believe at some point in life God sat him down and said, "Adam, all I want is for you to be yourself, and I'll do the rest. People will see my love through you."? Langford took that call seriously and the world changed because of him.
I still do not honestly believe he died yesterday. I don't think I will ever believe it fully. Adam was invincible. I played basketball in his driveway, I watched him do back flips at Spring Sing Practice, I . . . cannot accept the fact that I will never hear his laughter or be uplifted by being around him. No, Langford lives.
I am truly angry at God because I cannot understand his plan. Langford did what we all secretly wish we were doing—serving God with all of our hearts. He embraced his journey with no complaints and he put his entire being into it. I will always be jealous of that, and I believe I should be. Why, God, would you take someone doing your work and suffering for your cause with all his heart? It doesn't make sense. He had thousands upon millions of more lives to touch and make disciples. He had a heart for the physical suffering of those in Uganda, but that was not his main concern. He only wanted to bring hope to a place where there seems to be no hope. What about those people he was supposed to touch? No, it was not time, not by my estimation.
Adam, I can't make any sense of this. Somehow I know you can. You're rejoicing with the saints right now, maybe even playing soccer, but we have to grieve losing you, and it hurts deep inside. May God bless your family and friends because this must be unbearable for them. We all know you are in heaven where your journey has always been leading you, but no one expected it this soon. You give us hope, though, because we'll always see you. We'll see you in our lives and in the lives of your family and friends. We'll see you in the faces and hearts of those in Uganda who you gave your life to. In one of your last reports, you spoke of suffering. You suffered for the Gospel in the most extreme way, you died for something bigger than anything in this world. And I will continue to be jealous of you, because I'll always remember you had it figured out—be yourself, let God use you, and people will see God's love.
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